Registry Tips

Beka Johnson

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1. Register Early

 

What are you waiting for? Registering for wedding gifts should be one of the first tasks you tackle when you get engaged. Friends and relatives will be looking to buy wedding gifts as soon as he pops the question. Really! Take the guesswork out of gift buying by making sure they know what you want. You don’t need to complete your list just yet, but at least have a selection for guests to browse.

2. Do it together

Hitting the stores together is essential. After all, the gifts are for both of you. To decide what you need, take inventory of the things you already have and see where the gaps are. Talk about the style of home you'd both like, and split up the final say (you could alternate items) to make it fair. (Maybe he gets to make final decisions on electronics, while you get to choose the kitchen stuff since you’re the chef.)

3. Register for whatever you need

Don’t feel like you just need to register for china and flatware. Many stores have wedding registries now, so feel free to include whatever it is that will make your new house a home, be it electronics, appliances, or even camping equipment

4.  Think about how you live

Try to avoid filling your list with things you’re never going to use. If you two aren’t the formal party types, then you probably won’t need a crystal punch bowl, as compelling as it may seem when you walk by with that registry scanner. Also, be extra-sure before you register for anything that's monogrammed. Once your name is on it, you probably won’t be able to return it.

5.  Make sure you hit all price points

As much as you may be hankering for that gorgeous $350-a-place-setting silver, be sure to register for items in a wide range of price points: under $50, under $75, under $100, under $200, and beyond, so all of your guests can choose gifts they can afford. You don't want your college friend feeling overwhelmed by the fact that he can't find a single gift; and on the opposite side, you don't want your parents' closest friends to have to buy you a multitude of smaller items to give you a generous gift.

6.  Convenience for the guests

At least one (and preferably all) of your registries should be available online. Guests should also be able to place their orders in person, over the phone, or by fax. If you’ve registered at a boutique retailer that doesn’t offer online services, you should be okay, as long as that’s not the only place you’ve registered. We live in a hectic world and you want to let guests be able to order you a gift -- even if it's 2 a.m.!

7.  Update often

When a guest buys a gift for you, your registry should automatically update, allowing other guests to see what’s been purchased (and allowing you to see what’s on its way!). Make sure to revisit your registry often (trust us, you’ll be visiting several times a day once the wedding day nears), and update it with additional selections as products are purchased so that guests always have a variety of things to choose from. Aim to have at least twice as many items on your list as guests at your wedding.

8.  Think gift cards

Sure, some couples love receiving cash, but asking for it is not exactly Future Mr. and Mrs. Manners-approved. A more etiquette-friendly option? Try gift cards. Many stores allow you to register for them and you can use them to buy the things you want and need...later. If you are anxious for cash gifts, ask one or two close friends and immediate family members to politely spread the word.

9. Thank you

Be gracious -- let your guests know their gifts have arrived -- promptly. Thank you notes for gifts received before the wedding should be sent within two weeks of their arrival. Notes for gifts received on or after the wedding day should be sent within a month of your return from the honeymoon. In all notes, be sure to mention the gift by name.

 

These tips should help as the bride and groom navigate the registry and hopefully the gifts they receive will be what they can use.

History of Bridal Traditions

Column
Beka Johnson

Some wedding traditions are passed down through the generations without much thought about where they came from. Here's some of the history of the most popular.

BOUQUET:

Did you ever consider walking down the aisle clutching a bundle of garlic and dill?

Well, if you're a stickler for tradition, you might want to think about it. Until modern times, brides did carry garlic and dill. The practice probably originated from the time of the Plague, when people clutched the herbs over their noses and mouths in a desperate effort to survive.

Survivors of great tragedy can affix tremendous protective powers to anything that has provided comfort, and the herbs made it into the ceremony marking renewal. Over time, brides added better-smelling flora to the arrangement, and a whole dictionary of meaning arose to define each type of blossom.

BRIDESMAID DRESSES:

If you dread showing your selection of dresses to your bridesmaids, consider this: The earliest tradition in bridesmaid fashion involved dressing the bridesmaids exactly the same as the bride. As with many older traditions, the idea was that by setting up lookalikes, any troublesome spirits in the area could not fixate on the bride.

That custom gave way in Victorian times to dressing bridesmaids in white dresses but short veils, to contrast with the bride's voluminous veiling and train system. When society's fears of evil spirits subsided and commercial dyes became more available, those first hideous dresses made their appearance. In colors like lime green, harvest gold, tangerine and fuchsia, those dresses all ensured that the bride would be the best-looking girl in the church.

Not that any bride would ever consciously do this.

BRIDAL VEIL:

The veiling of the bride has origins in the idea that she's vulnerable to enchantment, so she must be hidden from evil spirits. The Romans veiled brides in flame-colored veils to actually scare off those spirits.

Perhaps the most evil of spirits, in an arranged marriage, is the threat that the groom, who is perhaps seeing the bride for the first time, won't like what he sees. The veil saves everyone some embarrassment in the short term.

Also, in many religions, the veil is a sign of humility and respect before God during a religious ceremony.

The Victorians turned that reverence into a status symbol. During Victorian times, when archaic customs were formally incorporated into proper weddings, the weight, length and quality of the veil was a sign of the bride's status. Royal brides had the longest veils and the longest trains.

In modern times, generally we have some assurance that the groom has seen his bride and won't be disappointed, and that the only evil spirits will be the ones behind the bar at the reception. The tradition has become more of a finishing touch in wedding fashion. It's the icing on the cake, so to speak, that pulls together the hair and the dress.

These are just a few of the traditions brides have used for generations.

OK, so you've thrown a wedding and invited the whole neighborhood, and you're tired. An hour or so after you go to sleep, all your friends turn out and bang pots and pans under your windowsill, and you're expected to reappear in full wedding attire and feed the rowdies so they'll go away.

Sound like fun? Probably not. But this was the shivaree, which was practiced on the American frontier into the early 20th century.

The American version originated in France, where communities would conduct a charivari for widowers or grooms from out of town. These grooms, outsiders who had effectively snatched a local girl out of the clutches of the local boys, were to pay a toll to the offended locals by offering a midnight meal.

Early French settlers brought the practice to the Mississippi Valley in the 1600s, and other settlers caught on. The midnight parties became an event that grooms worked to deflect; historians cite cases where prosperous ranchers would throw enormous barbecues for the community just to avoid getting "shivaree'd."

Tying the tin cans on the bumper may serve as a poor substitution for an all-night party, but it's interesting to note that the decorating of the car is generally done by the groom's male friends -- men who effectively have lost their chances with the bride who's being whisked away.

While the tradition of breaking a glass is still observed at many Jewish weddings, some don't appreciate the symbolism.

Jupiterimages/Comstock/Thinkstock

The conclusion of a Jewish wedding, with its layers of symbolic practices, often ends with the groom crushing a wineglass under his heel.

Like many traditions in Jewish weddings, such as standing under the Chuppah and the bride circling the groom seven times, the breaking of the glass can symbolize many things. But the chief connotation is that the breaking of the glass serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, the most holy place in all of Jewish history. Another connotation is that it reminds the couple of the fragility of the relationship and the need to preserve it.

In some cases, modern couples may find the practice a somewhat oppressive burden in its reminder of thousands of years of history. But then, isn't that what tradition is for?

For more wedding and tradition articles, check out the links on the next page.

10 Strange Wedding Traditions

Unusual things happen at weddings all the time. You can expect to see anything from grandmas getting down to hip-hop to inebriated toasts and speeches. But some wedding traditions are more unusual than most. Read more »

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Fun Wedding Invitation Ideas

Column
By: Kristen Henningson


I remember when I first saw my aunt’s framed wedding invitation hanging on her walls in her living room. The writing was an elegant script font and tiny pressed flowers stuck to the pastel matting board, which bordered the sheet of paper. After that, it wasn't long until I began to notice other families who framed their wedding invitations. Each and every one I've seen is beautiful and romantic. However, I began to notice a pattern—all of the invitations were an elegant script font, had a pastel matting board, and flowers somehow always managed to wiggle their way into the frame.

Maybe it was the style of the time, but times have changed. If you’re going to present this keepsake in your house for years to come, why not add a pop of fun?

While scrolling on Pinterest, I've come across dozens of unique wedding invitations, and posting a few of the ideas other couples have had may just inspire you for your wedding invitations!

One popular idea is for couples embarking on destination weddings to mail their invitations like a post card with a picture of the destination for choice for the cover. In the spot most people use to write their vacation adventures, it’s the invitation and information! After all, if it’s a wedding with a theme, why not go all-out?

Another option is for interactive Invitations and RSVPs.  A couple of examples are leaving a blank line at the bottom of the RSVP. Instruct the attending guests to leave a song request. It makes for a diverse mix at the reception, and everyone will be happy to hear his or her song played. Additionally, if one is up for silly responses, creating an ad-lib RSVP is sure to bring plenty of laughs!

Lastly, who doesn't love a good story? Mailing out invitations with a little story is sure to entertain all, and it provides a bit of back story to distant relatives who may not know much about the relationship.

Any of these ideas will certainly add some pizzazz to any invitation or RSVP, and will shake the pattern of typical script font and pressed flowers. However, if the traditional, old-fashioned invitation is your preference, then go for it! The invitations may be for the guests, but they reflect your wedding, so do what you think suits your celebration best!

The Perfect Dress for The Shape

Feature Story
Beka Johnson


Think your wedding dress has to be pricey for you to look great on your big day? Well, think again. The most important choice you'll make about your wedding dress should not be the prominence of its designer or the trendiness of its cut but rather the style of the dress and choosing a style that suits your body shape. Marie Hannon is a bridal gown consultant from Geneva. She gave some advice on what style suits what shape and what's in vogue in the world of bridal fashion.

Wedding Gown Styles:

• The Apple
  
  Contrary to what it suggests, having an apple figure doesn't mean you're overweight. Rather, this fruity label refers to a slightly rounded figure with hips, waist and shoulder widths of similar width, but set off by slim, toned arms and legs. Women with apple figures tend to collect weight around the middle of their bodies, leaving the waist region a bit lost.
  Thus, choosing a dress that defines an apple's waist is a must. Choosing a bodice with a lot of detailing around the bust will promote that area well."
  You should avoid dresses with fish-tail skirts as these will not bring out the best in your figure."
  While bias cuts are good for the apple, a longer-length dress like the ultra-straight column dress is an apple no-no. "It's hard to create definition between waist and hips with the column dress which is best suited to women with naturally slim waists."
• The Hourglass
  
  The hourglass figure is the closest thing to the perfect figure. Characterised by hips and shoulders of the same width and a well-defined waist, this body shape is synonymous with the classic Hollywood hot bod. "The hourglass is the most proportioned of figure types", says Marie.
  Those lucky enough to be blessed with such a 'perfect figure' will naturally be able to pull off anything. "This shape is by far the easiest to dress because virtually any style can be adapted to suit", says Marie. "You can choose to highlight your curves by wearing a fish-tail skirt which will show off your womanly shape to perfection. Alternatively, you can emphasise your bust area by wearing an empire-line top. You could also focus on your small waist region by wearing a well-fitted bodice."
  But perfect people beware: while hourglasses may have a host of physical assets to highlight, less is more. "Women with hourglass figures have many different parts of their body worthy of flaunting but they should not be tempted to go overboard and highlight them all at the same time", warns Marie. "If you try to highlight your bust, curves and waist, rather than showing off your perfect figure, having too much going on in the design will simply take the attention away from your great shape. Avoid this at all costs by focusing on one of your assets alone."

• The Pear
  
  The pear is the most common body shape in a woman. Unfortunately, it's also the hardest to dress. Dominated by a large, voluptuous lower body with large hips and a pert posterior, the pear is shapely on the bottom with a noticeably smaller top half with small shoulders and a small bust.
  "With curves on the bottom half, pear-shaped women often have a smaller bust and tend to carry any extra weight on their hips, bottom and thighs," says Marie.
  But it's not all bad news. "They may not have the same shapely curves up top as they do on their bottom halves but pears are blessed with a beautifully slim torso and small waist, something many other shapes lack."
  With a little design know-how, the imbalanced pear can achieve the proportioned look. "Because the pear has a small bust, choosing a dress or corset with a lot of detail is ideal as it creates the illusion of curves", advises Marie. "And don't hide your shoulders. Pears almost always have a terrific slender shoulder area which should be accentuated by avoiding shawl-type accessories of any kind. Pears also tend to carry very little weight on their back so showing off that svelte area is a must. A plunging back on a simple halter or ball gown dress will ensure the attention is on your slender back."
  While choosing couture that accentuates their slender top half is ideal for pears, it's important for pear-shaped women who aren't comfortable with their shape to de-emphasis their lower body. "Pears are disproportionately bigger on the bottom so choosing something that hides that is important. Empire line skirts have an unstructured waist so that it falls in a straight line past the hips and into the skirt. This is good if you're trying to avoid clinging around the bottom area. Ball gown dresses skim over the hips and thighs too. Overall though, the perfect dress for this body shape overall is an A-line deep halter dress with a low back. This highlights all of your assets."

• The Boyish Shape
  
  The antithesis to shapely pear or hourglass, the boyish shape has no curves to hide.
  "The boyish shape is typically straight up and straight now with little to no curves in between", says Marie. "Boy-shaped women have a very small bust, a small bottom with no curves, typical of the masculine shape which is the source of this shape's name. While they may have nothing to hide, a common complaint from women with this shape is that they equally have nothing to show off."
  But this is not entirely true. "Boy-shaped women tend to overlook what they do have. Not only can they eat what they like regardless of the calorie content, they are often blessed with lithe, long legs that appear to go on forever. Their shoulder area is much like the pear's with small shoulders and a well-defined bone structure."
  "Legs and tummy are the boy-shape's best friends", says Marie. "Women with this shape should accentuate their long legs as they are always very thin. Slim legs automatically look longer giving even small 'boys' the illusion of height, always a plus."
  But mini-skirts are hardly the haute couture of bridal fashion. Or are they? "Wearing a short skirt on your wedding day is not the fashion faux pas that it used to be", says Marie. "If you're having a casual ceremony or if it's your second wedding, it's particularly fashionable to wear a more casual dress or skirt and a short skirt - not too short though - is the most obvious way to show off good legs."
  But for less brave souls about to get hitched? "Wear a long, figure-hugging dress", advises Marie. "While you might think that wearing a long skirt down to your toes is only going to cover up your legs, it can actually do the opposite. Figure-hugging styles ensure that your body shape is crystal clear to onlookers."
  As with the shoulder-spectacular pears, the boyish shape should accentuate their slender shoulders and slim arms by wearing little on top. "Don't hide your best bits with a veil or shawl", she says.
  And like the pear again, the boy-woman is free to wear as much detail up top as she likes. "Detail on your neck area such as diamante make your bust area look bigger than it is, something the boy-shape needs."

Bang-on Bridal Trends

While you should keep your figure in mind when choosing your wedding dress, it's also important to consider the fashion end of things. What colors are making a splash in the wedding industry? What fabrics are taking the fashion world by storm?

• Color
  
  A white wedding may have been the norm in the past but a current trend, especially in the US, is to add a splash of color to the ceremony, starting with the dress. "People, particularly those who are having a casual ceremony, are going for color wedding dresses", says Marie. "If you want to stick with white, you can use your bridesmaids to add color. Popular shades are purples of all shades, particularly lilac and lavender a baby pink- lilac. Light blue is also making a comeback in shades from baby blue to light grey. You'll also find bridal shops are pushing the monochromatic look. For instance, you might dress your bridesmaids in the same color but in varying shades."
  But don't be tempted to overindulge in color. "It is the most important day of your life, you want to look special so there's no point in just wearing a dress that you could wear on any night out with the girls", advises Marie. "Choose something special and avoid choosing colors you wear often. You can still wear what suits you, just spice it up a little."
• Fabric
  
  One way to spice things up is by carefully choosing your fabric. "You might wear champagne-style, beige and natural colors a lot but by choosing a dressy fabric, you lend the outfit some class", says Marie. "Fabric choice for wedding dresses changes little from season to season", says Marie. "You can't get much classier than silk or satin, two fabrics which remain top buys among brides from year to year."
  That said, some fabrics are particularly popular this season. "All-over lace is a huge trend this Spring. It's very romantic which is fitting for the big day", says Marie. "Metallic fabrics are also huge. These are harder fabrics, often ruffled or crumpled, and designers are loving this new look."
  But if you don't like too much detail? Accessorize  "If you want to keep things simple, dresses with design around the bust or waist are popular. Another great option is to accessorize  Light weight fabrics, including organza, lace, chiffon and tulle, also make perfect wraps for the Spring or Summer bride and reduce sun exposure on your bare arms and shoulders."
  
  A few hints to help when you start shopping for your perfect dress. You'll be the center of attention and it'll be a memory you'll cherish forever.
  
  
  

Your Song

Feature Story
By: Kristen Henningson

You know that one special song? The song that reminds you of him when it comes on the radio? The song that says everything about your relationship in fewer than four minutes? Maybe it’s because the lyrics perfectly describe him, or it was playing in the background at your first date, or it’s the subject of an inside joke, but regardless of the reason: that’s your song.

Imagine this: you and your wonderful groom have just tied the knot. The reception is in a few minutes, and there you two will finally have your first dance as husband and wife. It was decided from day one that the song to dance to would be your song.

“Mike and I specifically asked the DJ, days in advance, if he had our song, and he assured us that he did,” said Colleen Henningson. Her and her husband, Mike, had had a relaxed wedding and intended to have an equally relaxing reception—after all, the big day had gone off without a hitch thus far.

That is, until it came time to pick the song. “The time came for our first dance and the DJ went, ‘Oh, I don’t have your song,’ even though we had asked him several times if he had it,” Henningson said. The bride and her groom had to quickly deal with the fact that their chosen song would not be the one they would dance to and had to pick a new one.

It had seemed like such a big deal, and my mother still complains to me today about the faulty DJ, but she doesn't dwell on it often, saying, “It had put a damper on our wedding, but everyone still had fun. A lot of people say our wedding was the most fun one they had been to.”

So while it’s nice to have that perfect song, it’s important to remember: that song is still your song, even if it isn't played at the wedding. You can dance to it later, so enjoy the night for what it’s worth.

Till Death Do Us Part

Feature Story
By: Missy Talkington


They met during the early 1950s, when marriage was thriving and almost universal. They were young and in love and determined to tie the knot. Late night dates at the drive in movie theater weren't cutting it anymore for their love for each other. They got married after only knowing each other for under a year, but never was their love for each other or sanctity of their wedding vows questioned by anyone.

After being married and having two children, the groom was called to serve in the Vietnam War. The bride got her picture professionally taken in his favorite dress of hers so he could have it with him while being so far away. They wrote to each other as much as they could so their love for each other would never die out. When he finally came home it was supposed to be a time of happiness but their marriage was put to the test for another time. Their second son had fallen sick with leukemia. They had to take him to hospital after hospital to try and get him help, but nothing was working. Soon he was going blind and Christmas was around the corner. "My mom cried on a nightly basis to my dad, it took a huge tole on the both of them you could just see it in their eyes" said their older son Alan Scott. They decided that year to have Christmas early as a family in fear that he would not be able to see his presents by Christmas time. The following January the married couple lost their second born son. Alan states, "They never stopped loving or took it out on one another, it was almost as if they were even closer than they were before". Finally, things were looking up for the family and they had two more sons together.

Many years later when their three living children were grown they faced another challenge. The groom had been diagnosed with lung cancer. Fortunately, he fought through it and was in remission. "It really took a toll on my mom's health, she put everything she had into nursing him day and night and staying in the hospital for evenings at a time" says Alan. Shortly after the groom was in remission the bride was diagnosed with early stage of breast cancer. She too fought through this disaster with the love of her husband. One would have thought their love for each other was what was keeping them alive it was so strong.

Years down the road, though, the groom was diagnosed again with terminal lung cancer and heart disease. This time, though, he didn't make it through the battle. The bride never left his side, even at his last breaths that he took in their home together. After his death she told every one in her family she was never scared to die because she would be reunited with the love of her life. The bride went on to live the later years of her life full of happiness and love from her children and grandchildren. In her early seventies her health began to fail. She was found one day in her grooms favorite chair, which never left the spot he had it in their home together, and she wasn't breathing anymore. The family was upset but knew she went peacefully because she was now reunited with the love of her life just like she longed to be again one day.

Funny compilation of wedding fails!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPxR61cDB6U