Formal Dining for the Not-So-Formal

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By: Kristen Henningson

The moment I sat down at the banquet hall, I felt wildly underprepared. In the center was an eloquently-folded cloth napkin. To the left, two forks of different size. To the right, a knife, a tea cup and saucer and two spoons, also of different size. Above that, a smaller fork and a smaller spoon. To the upper left corner, a small plate with a roll and bread knife. To the upper right corner, a glass of water and a glass of lemonade.

For a girl accustomed to paper napkins and minimal silverware, it is easy to see how I was overwhelmed. Luckily, it was a practice luncheon and the woman in charge taught us how to navigate the place settings with ease. Knowing how to handle the dining materials placed in front of you will help you feel more at ease at a formal wedding.

First, there is the bread and water to tackle. They are usually placed between your dining set and that of the person next to you—how do you tell whose is whose? There’s a simple trick to answer that question. With your left hand, cup your fingers and thumb to make an “O” with your hand. Extend the pointer finger up and voila! It’s a lowercase B! Do the same thing with your right hand and you will find that it makes a D. Bread is on your left, and your left hand makes a B. Similarly, Your drink is on the right, like your right hand makes a D. You’ll never be confused again!

Up next, the silverware. Typically, you will work your way from the outside towards your plate. The outer fork and outer spoon are used for soup and salad, and those will be taken away with your empty dishes. The next spoon is the tea spoon, used if tea is served. If not, the spoon will either not be present or can be disregarded.  The remaining knife and fork are reserved for your main meal, and the bread knife in the upper left corner is used solely for the bread. Lastly, the smaller fork and spoon above your plate are saved for dessert. Use whichever is best for what is served, and next thing you know, your place setting is free of silverware, and you’re free to dance the night away!

Are you a visual learner? The banquet luncheon provided mini layouts of a table setting with labeled pictures. Hopefully it helps you relax and let loose at your next formal wedding.